Impossible; All about the tools
So many motivational and inspirational words have been said about ‘how nothing is impossible and how everything is possible’. Of truth, all these words have pushed people to limits beyond their imagination but then, after all said and done, many have also failed. People have been inspired to the point where they leave certainty and then chase shadows. Of truth, some caught the shadow while most never did. Majority, even though, have been thoroughly inspired but yet they never reached their El-Dorado because of the missing link. In this message, I am going to tell you what the missing link is.
Dream is God’s special way of inspiring/preparing us for the future, though some believe it is just our subconscious bringing to fore our innermost thoughts and desires. However you see it, bottom line, dreams are special and often times when achieved, they redefine our existence. When Willy Ley wrote about landing on the moon many must have said it was impracticable. When Jesus said His mission was to preach the goodnews to the world, that must have sounded crazy at that time considering mobility and transfer of information. Leonardo da Vinci (The Ornithopter), when he came up with how man could actually fly, he must have been a laughingstock considering how previous efforts of man to fly had failed then. However, all the above had something in common, they all achieved the impossible in the end. Now let me tell you how they did it.
I once wrote that “impossibilities do not exist” and I still stand by that. Know that, it is not impossible, it just hasn’t been done yet, better put, when something seems impossible, it is only so because no one has found the right tool(s) to make it possible. To land on the moon Willy Ley found the right tool to be rocket and fuel and not witchcraft and sorcery; to spread the gospel all over the world Jesus found the right tools to be ‘disciples and apostles’ and not just being a lone ranger or twosome crusader like prophets before him did; and for man to fly Leonardo knew the right tool was to build an aircraft and not man strapping feathers to their limbs like overgrown birds.
Impossibility + The right tools = Possibility
Most people who have attempted to walk their dreams have failed because rather than focusing on what the required tools are, they are lost in fear because no one has done it before, then they conclude it must be impossible. To make it worse, these people often surround themselves with friends and families who are quick to point out why it won’t work. Not to talk of the role of their faith and resolve to transforming situations from never to ever.
You need to understand that for any task to be done successfully, the right tools; implements, resources, qualifications, experiences, brains etc must be carefully selected and used. Often times, it is never a day-job because lots of planning, concentration, brainstorming, seclusion, research, meetings etc goes into it. Imagine someone who wants to sweep the floor and all he has is a toothpick, the task is impossible already but with broom or vacuum cleaner, that same task becomes possible. That is exactly the way our dreams are, if we have not figured out the right tool(s), we will still see that dream as an impossibility but the moment we are able to figure out what the right tool is/are, then our success becomes a miracle before everyman.
I challenge you today, do not give up on that dream of yours just because some people called it ‘an impossibility’, don’t let go-off that ambition of yours because some naysayers said it is ‘impracticable’ and finally don’t write-off that beautiful idea because couple of friends laughed you down when you came up with it…channel all your energy into finding the right tool(s) required to birth your dream, your innovation, your idea, your ambition… and once you can do that you would have made the impossible, POSSIBLE.
What I Would Do Differently
There is a popular saying that experience is the best teacher. This is true to some extent. But a wise man once remarked that though experience is the best teacher it is better if it is not your own experience. This is his message: There are certain mistakes you make in life that may put you in a shape where it is impossible to pick any lessons from them. In other words, the experience of another person is your best teacher! Pure wisdom!
If you have the willingness to learn, learn the lessons from your failure. Forget the details and try again the next time more intelligently. Your potential for success increases each time you fail. Therefore if you will truly succeed, you must not be afraid to fail. I will share with you some of the lessons that life has taught me.
1. Worry Won’t Solve Any Problem
“When you worry, you are paying interest on an overdraft you never took! Does it make any sense?”
2.Success Is Not A Day’s Job
“A tomato fruit can be ripened in two ways. You could spray a chemical on it and you would have a ripe tomato fruit overnight. You could also allow it to grow through the maturation process. Which one do you think would taste better? Drop that microwave success mentality. It won’t get you anywhere. Believe me!”
3.More Money Won’t Make You Rich Without Discipline
“I remember the words of the great evangelist, Billy Graham. He said, “When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. But when character is lost, all is lost.” Don’t lose your character in the bid to make some small amount of money!”
4.Location Won’t Change Who You Are
“Archbishop Benson Idahosa once said that a lizard in Nigeria will not become a crocodile in America. He was trying to address a mindset that many of us in the third world have. We say that if only we could go to the western nations, if only we could go to the countries that look so beautiful in the movies and in the magazines, then our lives would change. That is a big lie!”
5. Success Always Comes With A Balance
“Zig Ziglar said, I believe that being successful means having a balance of success stories across the many areas of your life. You can’t truly be considered successful in your business life if your home life is in shambles. How true!”
6.Accept People The Way They Are
“Mike Murdock once said that when two people are doing the same thing or acting the same way, one of them is irrelevant! God does not have a duplicating machine. He fashioned everyone of us differently. ”
7.You Need Your Body to Achieve Your Goals
“Someone once remarked that he wouldn’t want to become the wealthiest man on the hospital bed or in the graveyard. You need sound health to achieve God’s purpose for your life.”
That is it! Remember, knowledge in itself does not confer power. It is the knowledge that is intelligently applied that brings benefits to our lives. Don’t just read this report and throw it somewhere. Take each of the mistakes in turn and figure out how to avoid them in your life.
By Sam Adeyemi Success Power Media Limited
©This is a worldwide protected publication of Success Power Media Limited and http://www.successpowermedia.com
My advice, get this book!…Selah
Will of Steel
In this jet age, some harsh realities snuff out life out of great dreams, but only those with the Will of Steel have been able to surmount the cruelty of life and forge a great future for themselves. Such is the story of a friend I want to share with you.
Going through my Facebook account very early in the morning few days back- as my usual routine- a friend suggestion popped up (only God knows how these things know people you have met before) at first, the name Taiwo Twins did not ring any bell in my senses till her profile picture loaded completely, then I saw the face, Taiwo! My cleaner friend! I quickly added her while asking myself what might have happened to this hardworking friend.
As events will turn yesterday, I was in School (Unilag *University of Lagos Nigeria) after battling to submit a deferred assignment, I was to go home, and lo and behold, right in front of my department I saw my cleaner friend in flesh rather than on screen. I couldn’t believe it, I went to her cautiously and called her name, “Taiwo!”. She look at me and said ‘sorry, but I can’t place the face’. Then I introduced myself, especially the fact that I gave her free ride from her work place perpetually for over 3months some 4years ago, where she worked as an office cleaner. The next thing was that she screamed my name, gave me a big hug and she did apologize for not recognising me at first. I smiled in agreement, saying, ‘most people think I look a bit different now, probably because I have added some weight’.
After the pleasantries were exchanged, out of curiosity I asked her what she was doing in Unilag plus how it came to pass that she was looking nicer now compared to the last time I saw her. Then she offered that we find a seat because- as she judged- it was a long story; we got ourselves seats, and she started her story…
“I was in my first year in the polytechnic when I lost both parents in a ghastly car accident. My twin sister and I were so devastated. Fortunately, the family members rallied round for the burial ceremonies and many promises were made to us. In the way we were brought up, our parents raised us independent of our extended families, that is, we don’t visit uncles or aunts. So when we lost our parents, we tried moving closer to our extended families but none of them- in spite of their promises- was willing to accept us, we had no where to turn to, and the world seemed crashing upon us.
Kehinde and I decided to secure a small room for ourselves from the money we got during the burial ceremonies. Dropping out of school was the obvious thing to do, but we told ourselves that if not for anything, we had to prove to people who didn’t help us that they were wrong, for they thought we can’t amount to something. We decided to get a part-time job to finance our OND program. Kehinde started selling recharge cards plus rendering services of phone calling to patronizers, and I also got a job as an office cleaner. With these, we were able to manage through the OND program.
After the Diploma program, it seems we were hard up, cost of furthering studies wasn’t something our petty jobs could finance and help seemed to be faraway. Though many guys came along the way, the single guys that came often do not have the capacity to help, those that could don’t want to have anything to do with a cleaner girl. Then, lots of married men came too but all they wanted was someone to fulfill their sexual fantasies in exchange for cash, though it felt like I had nothing to loose, I couldn’t forget what my mum told me, saying ‘if you date another woman’s husband, someone would date yours too when you finally get married’, coupled with the fact that I had enough troubles in my life already, to invite more and become the central prayer point of one housewife would be self-defeating.
In all these, Kehinde decided to call it a quit with education, and she went into fashion designing but I was resolved to have at least first degree. One day in the office, I was cleaning the director’s office (she is Swedish, so you hardly hear what she is saying and also very mean especially to junior staff) when she was complaining that she needed to send a mail, however, the secretary was not around, then I offered to assist. She looked at me with disgust, saying ‘a cleaner? And you think you can do a graduate’s job?’ I smiled back at her to dissolve the look on her face and then told her thus ‘if it is important ma, I can try’. ‘Okay’ consented she, pointing me to the computer, then she started dictating her message. When she was through, we edited it together and I sent the mail for her. She was so pleased that she gave me #2,000, probably as gratitude recompense. I jumped at it, and then knelt down in reciprocal appreciation. She asked what my qualification was and I told her.
Two days later, the director called me and apprised me that WEMAbank was employing cashiers, the requirement was OND and that I don’t even need to write any test because she has recommended me, however, I would be interviewed. I couldn’t believe my ears, I was in tears; then she counted #10,000 for me, saying ‘go get yourself a sleek suit jacket and make sure you look good for the interview’, perhaps the exercise of her gratitude wasn’t over. As God would have it, I got the job, and from a pay of #12,000 per month, I was elevated to a pay of about #70,000 per month. Till today, it still feels like a dream.
So now, I am doing a part time program in Unilag, and I’m actually in my third year, studying Business Administration. I have been able to set up a small fashion house for Kehinde and she is really growing fast;
we have a 3 bedroom apartment to ourselves and more than ever, we have been able to prove people who felt we are up to no good wrong and those who believed in us right.
After she finished her story, I was dumbfounded, this young girl has gone through this much. I hugged her, so happy for her, we exchanged numbers and I saw her off to the park. On my way back to the department I started reminiscing on what she shared and here are the lessons I got:
1. You need a strong Will to stay focus
2. You need a much stronger Will for you not to be intimidated by life’s challenges.
3. People quickly change; from friends to enemies and from enemies to friends, bottom line don’t harbour hatred.
4. When you are down people will try to exploit you in the name of help but then if you refuse to be exploited a real helper will show up.
5. Intimidation will come, molestation will come but then moment of magic will eventually come, so be patient.
6. Opportunities only transform life when you are prepared.
7. If we are diligent, if we are prayerful, if we are resilient and if we are hard working, we will all tell the sweet story of victory.
I like sweet stories of victory, I like people walking from the face of defeat to the corridor of triumph, I like winners and I strongly believe winning is possible for all. If we never relent, we can be whatever we have chosen to be. I love you all and trust me, I believe in you.
Edited by Gbenga Kajopaiye
Make The Best of What You Have
The sayings that “humans don’t appreciate what we have till we loose it” and “a man that fails to appreciate the things he has, is soon forced by time to appreciate the things he once had”, made more sense to me the day i met a young boy on the street of Lagos. The truth is many times we are beclouded by what we lack that we forget to make the best of what we have. Eventually, we take for granted the opportunities laid before us because we keep living in the shadows of “what ought to be”.
On this faithful day, on my way to an Uncle’s place, I got stuck in traffic along the busy 3rd mainland bridge (Lagos Nigeria). The sun was at it’s peak, like it was on a mission to dry the water beneath us. Vehicles were hardly moving and I almost blamed myself for picking that day of all days to go visiting. As the stand still went on, I began to feel dehydrated, I beckoned on the boys selling drinks in the traffic, they all ran towards me, some even tried to shove the drinks into my face. Then from behind came a voice, “Sir, which one do you want?” I looked through the crowded sellers, searching for the voice. It was a young boy definitely not more than 15years, I responded, “I want Pepsi, please let me have one.”
He gave me the Pepsi, by now all others have gone to other motorists calling for drinks. I told the boy how sharp he is, while others were pushing different drinks to me, he was smart enough to ask which one I really wanted. I asked him why he was hawking and his response made me respect him the more, he said, “I have been hawking for over 6years, sent myself through secondary school with it. Although I know it is very risky but I am trying to save up for higher institution now, maybe someday I will stop hawking and ride in a big car like you.” I felt tears build up in my eyes, I was really touched by his hard work, faith and optimism. I told him, “you are smart! I am sure you will even do better than I have done”. I gave him the highest denomination with me and asked him to keep the change. He said thank you and went on with his hustle.
Many of us have basic things on a platter of gold yet rather than making the best of these things we keep complaining about the luxuries we don’t have. We need to know that life is not what we get but what we do with what we get. Some get little but they make a lot out of it while other get so much yet they make little out of it. Don’t write off yourself because of those things you lack and don’t be ashamed to dream big because of the environment you find yourself. Late Chief M.K.O Abiola sold firewood while growing up to fund his own education, he couldn’t buy textbooks so he had to cram the contents of the books he borrowed and he ate egg for the first time when he visited his wife-to-be because his family couldn’t afford it while he was growing but he never gave up. He rose to prominence and fame, because he believed that he may not be born with silver spoon but that doesn’t mean he won’t some day eat with one.
If you are reading this today, then I am sure it is not by accident nor chance, it’s because you desire motivation to attain your dreams and inspiration to stir up big turn around. So I am telling you these;
°never ever give up no matter what the odds are
°don’t take for granted the things you have, make the best of them
°be optimistic at all times, it will help your faith grow
°don’t stop seeking knowledge, you have a greater chance of reaching your dreams when you have the right information
°don’t be caught up bemoaning your situation, rather be thankful for life and the chance to better yesterday.
°finally, pray to God to direct your path at all times.
Make the best of what you have that way, one day you would be able to provide all the things you have always wished you had.
If We Do Not Give Up
Galatians 6:9 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.
Times are trying and we all have something in our heart that we so much desire; a good job, a life partner, breakthrough, good health, fruit of the womb, good opportunity etc whatever it is, the Bible is saying, in due season we will reap but here is the condition “if we do not give up”.
Most times we do not know how close we are to what we desire but because we grow weary we just give up. Too often you see people keep changing from one line of job to another because they are not patient enough to wait till it is there due season. If we are diligent before God and trust Him with your heart, and we do not grow weary nor give up then, God will do something new for us.
“Isaiah 43:19 For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.”
Keep your dreams alive in God Almighty, put your trust in His only Son Jesus Christ, don’t compromise on righteousness and good deeds, the race might be long but know that victory is assured in the end. Don’t let people, things or events around you discourage you. Don’t give up because of how you have started, don’t give up because it seems the odds are against you, don’t give up because of other people’s bad experience… Keep your faith in God because He is faithful.
God Bless You.
The “Kete-kete” Phenomenon
The Kete-kete story was made popular by one of Nigerian music legends Chief Ebenezer Obey Fabiyi, who illustrated how difficult it is to please people. I remember back in my university days, Omogbolahan, my flatmate, no matter how much you criticize his actions, the only response you get from him is “I have heard you, it’s just another Kete-kete phenomenon”. Often times, we get angry because he hardly listens to others’ suggestions but if you ask me now, I guess he was listening however he did not just let people’s opinion change who he is. He is a medical doctor now and he is doing pretty good.
It is hard not to care at all what the environment is saying nor care about the concerns people have about us but when we make that the focal point of our living then we won’t get anything done. We naturally want to please our family, blend with our friends, wait for the approvals of our colleague, carry along our superiors and at the same time seek the consent of our role models but truth be told we can’t have all at the same time because their opinion will definitely conflict. People have diverse opinion on how, where and when things should be done and often times they have an unwritten law about who and to whom it should be done. This is a big clog in the wheel of success, self actualisation and pursuit of happiness.
Hence, it is less strange when you find out that most successful people are those who focus more on who they are than on who people around them think they are, not that they don’t care but they have learned these five rules of the Kete-kete phenomenon:
1. Don’t try to please people
You cannot please everyone, it is better you satisfy yourself first and those who have accepted you for who you are will find satisfaction in what you have done. If you try to please everyone, in the end you will find out that you have pleased no one and worse of all you have sacrificed your own happiness for nothing.
2. Don’t wait for people before you make important decisions in your life.
To be successful, most of your decisions have to be accurate yet timely. Success is more about information acted upon swiftly. The truth is, many would have the same information same time as you but whoever acts first will reap the most benefit, therefore if you are waiting for the approvals of everyone concern, you might be too late to earn from the information. Action is more for the risk takers, those who are risk-averse will consult till people convince them not to take actions.
3. Don’t live your life waiting for people to appreciate you.
The major key to happiness is knowing that your happiness depends on you and not on anyone else. Hence, if you live your life waiting to be appreciated by others then you won’t be in control of your own happiness. Live your life because it is the way you want to live it, strive to be happy, appreciate yourself and have faith in who you are, with time people will come around to celebrate your individualism.
4. Don’t do things because you are expecting people to reciprocate.
Many love just because they want love in return, some give just because they expect the other person to give back and others help so that the person can be oblige to them. Life really does not works like that. Love because your heart feels it, even if you don’t get it in return from the person, somewhere down the line you will see someone else who will love you. Give because it makes you happy to put smile on another’s face and somewhere down the line favor will locate you and yours. When you put your life on hold waiting for what someone will give you in return for a good deed you have done, you will loose the abundance that someone else just around the corner has for you.
5. Don’t let people determine for you who you are.
People will judge your actions because they don’t know your intentions and when you try to explain your intentions to them they will judge your personality. You know who you are, that should be good enough for you. Don’t live your life trying to be someone else just because who you are doesn’t soothe a friend, a family member or a colleague, because if you try to be someone else, you will always come out second best. People will have opinion about who and what you are, listen to them, see how you can use their criticism to improve yourself but never ever let their opinions, destroy the person you are.
Yeah! It is a new year, lots of excitement, promises and resolutions but wait a minutes, take away all these and it is just another day. The Sun still rises from the east, the seconds hand of the clock still going at the same old pace and our live still where we left it day before, Ugh!
But there is a chance we can change things and make the new year truly new.
Nothing might have changed but a new day gives a fresh start, a new year provides potential for a new beginning. Life never stops though but time changes and with those changes come what we have always hoped for, a better tomorrow. However, nothing will change if we don’t change; our attitude, our relationship, our believes, the way we go about our dreams, our contacts, our day to day schedule and ultimately our life should head towards perfection.
Our perception must change, they say, ‘only a fool does a thing same way and expects a different result’. If we have been foolish all this while then now is time to wise up. If there are things that had hindered us before now, then this is the time to let them go. We need to break free of all the shackles holding us down and launch into the horizon that is breaking before us. Things have to be different, don’t remain in the dark because you do not know what lies in the light. For the new year to bring the difference you have always prayed for, you also have to do things differently.
It is only a new year when there is a new you, when you have decided to move closer to perfection by changing those things that have continually set you back. Even if, last year was good for you by improving yourself you will make this new year better. Improving is not a day thing, it is a continuous process towards perfection. It is not a day resolution but a day by day revolution.
Here are few things I think should change:
Δ Request less and thank more, with man and with God
Δ Act on your ideas more, don’t be discouraged. It is better to start little than not to start at all.
Δ Spend more time listening to God than talking to Him. He has a lot He wants to tell you, spend more time meditating in His Words.
Δ Stop acting based on hearsays. People are always out to call a dog a bad name so they can maim it. Filter all you hear on the screen of truth.
Δ Save more than you spend, give more than you request and ensure you leave everyone with a smile more often.
Δ Revenge is not yours, lighten up your burden and forgive no matter what but learn from every betrayal and be wiser.
Δ Know what is personal, understand what is for public, hold your life dear to your heart.
Δ Try something new, be creative, even if an idea seems dumb once you believe in it, you can make it work. Listen more to your gut feelings.
Δ Have your priorities right and don’t loose your focus. People don’t have to understand why it is so, let your results do the explanation.
Δ Read more, listen more and don’t pass on any opportunity to learn new things, for knowledge is key and information is wealth.
Δ Be a person of yourself more than ever before, don’t be distracted by others’ exorbitant lifestyles. Like flashy things but don’t let them rule your life.
Δ Believe more, trust less, be more religious, have a little more faith, trust God like never before and never forget that all things are possible because in your life nothing is impossible.
This year is yours for the taking, go out and conquer.
I know sometimes it seems as if you are destined for no good, often times the trend of events suggest you are not just good enough. To make it even worse, people will tell it to your face how big a failure you have been and they will highlight past events in your life to prove how often you had fallen below expectations. These are where you have been, these are what had happen to you, these are lives you have lived but one thing is for sure, these are not what you are.
We have tendencies to want to stay down after a big fall, pessimism suggests, ‘he who is down fears no fall’, then we want to remain down so we don’t experience further disappointments. When people tell us what they think of our life and their interpretation of how shameful it has always been, we fall into the doldrum life of dejection and self pity while we loose the essence of living all together. These are opinions, some with facts and even others with figures but someone’s opinion
doesn’t have to our reality. Those things might have happened but we can make sure they are only history and not our story.
Dreams and ambition quickly die when one looses faith, the urge to take on challenges fizzle away when confidence is lost. Like a dog many would turn tail after a let down and without a fight back they mistake distraction for destination. If there is a thing they say you can’t do, that would only be true if you agree with them, if they say it is impossible for you then that will be so if you believe it is more than your Will can sustain. The difference between what you are and who you are, is how far you are willing to go. You can surpass all your limitations if you open your heart to the boundless strength within you. You are who you think you are, the rest are just shadows of your fears.
Don’t be defined by the limitations others have set for you. You could have weaknesses but then you can master your strengths and manage your weaknesses. Even if everyone says you can’t, the only vote that count is yours which should be saying “I CAN”
The Pursuit of Happiness
When I was 5 years-old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy.’ They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life. ― John Lennon
You deserve to be happy, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. However you decide to pursuit it is solely your choice. Happiness comes with fulfillment, satisfaction and excitement. Happiness often doesn’t come easy, you will be required to strive for it.
Your resolve would be put to test; mountains would stand against you, ditches would be in your way, you would battle friends, make pacts with enemies, you would be insulted, misunderstood, people would make you feel it is not worth it but in the end if that is where your happiness lies, it will be worth all the troubles.
Enjoy these selected quotes and be inspired:
One is only poor, only if he has choose to be……Dolly Paton
You don’t have to be perfect, as long as you are willing to learn….Shontelle
Never let somebody tell you, you can’t do something, not even me. If you have got a dream you have got to protect it. When people can’t do something themselves they want to tell you, you can’t do it. If you want something, go get it….Will Smith
Make your life a dream and of dream a reality (your dreams a reality)…..Antonio De St. Exupe
You might never fail on the scale I did but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all and in which case you fail by default…..JK Rowling
I didn’t get the job, but here is the thing I didn’t quit, I didn’t fall back. I walked out of there to prepare for the next audition, the next audition and the next audition, I prayed….Denzel Washington
But what is most important is that you have to dig deep, dig deep down and ask yourself who do you want to be; not what but who?…..Arnold Schwarzenegger
Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right……Henry Ford
Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want….Margaret Young
I murdered a rock, injured a stone, hospitalized a brick…this kid is going to be the best in the world…I will show you, how great I am…..Mohammed Ali
Inch by inch, play by play till we finish, we are in hell right now, gentlemen and we can stay here and get the shit kick out of us or we can fight our way back into the light, we can climb out of hell, one inch at a time.……Tony D’Amato (Football coach)
Never give in, never, never, never, never-in nothing, great or small, large or pretty-never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy…..Winston S. Churchill
Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it…..Elizabeth Gilbert
Life may have bruised my ego, knocked me down couple of times, humilitated me and unjustly condemned me but then I didn’t give up. I know even though my face is thrashed, my ego is damaged and my strength is used up but when I win, my happiness will shine through it all…….Selah
Happiness is what I can’t live without it is time to stand out….Keke Palmer
7 Reasons Why You Can Be Unhappy
1. Building your happiness around someone
Often times in the name of love we lock out everyone else in our lives just to accommodate one person. This can be very dangerous as we get so addicted to such person that they become the only reason we get excited and happy. This is why some people commit suicide or go crazy after a broken relationship. Being addicted to someone is like being addicted to drugs, there would always a withdrawal syndrome when the relationship falls apart but having friends and family around would always cushion the effect.
My advice: Have a good relationship with friends and family, don’t cast them away because you have a lover or new friend that seem to understand everything about you.
2. Small things are more important than they seem
If on your way to bigger dreams you neglect things that use to matter to you, eventually when you achieve the bigger dreams, you will realize that the so-called bigger dreams were not as important as those things you sacrificed along the way. Most big dreams give illusion of absolute but believe me, nothing is absolute. For instance, if your goal was to be a millionaire after your millions, you will be thinking of billions, one dream is always replaced by another but small things like family, good health, true friends, rest, good food etc never change and when you neglect them you tend to suffer unhappiness in the end, in spite of having your big dreams.
My advice: keep your big dreams close but keep those small things closer.
3. Trusting in Men rather than God
Of truth is that God works through people but this is never a reason to build your hope around people. Men will always disappoint intentionally or unintentionally, it’s like our second nature. So when we build our hope, trust and faith around people sadness is inevitable because when disappointment comes from them, it will leave us heartbroken but if our trust is in God even when people betray us, the Joy of God would still be our strength.
My advice: See man as a vessel in the hands of God, and not man as the god of your destiny.
4. Want Vs Need
This happens when you don’t set your priorities right, you tend to be lost between what you want and what you need. Every time this happens you will have a feeling of lack and sadness but if you have your priorities right you will find out that not having what you want is not lack, it just a natural occurrence, even the richest men don’t have all they want, oftentimes not for lack of money but because those things are yet to be invented or not readily available. If your focus is on what you want then all you will keep seeing are lacks, lacks and more lacks; and that’s just sadness all around.
My advice: Get your priorities right and know that because you don’t have it now doesn’t mean you will never have it.
Most people have lost their sense of socialization; no friends, no fun time, no outings just work and alone times. Do you know that naturally, we are social “animals”, the need to socialize is as natural as sleep, breath or death, hence if we don’t, the tendency is for us to be withdrawn, lonely and sad. This is not about partying or late nights, this is about keeping people around us, sharing thoughts, ideas, moment, problems, bad times and good times.
My advice: Loneliness is a bad habit, make friends, go out, do sight seeing, visit people, have a large heart where sadness cannot hide.
6. Wrong profession
We all have our different callings, things we are naturally good at, often times we know this by the excitement we feel when we are doing things related to them. For example, some are natural helpers so they are excited by teaching, some are carers hence they are best suited for healthcare services. However because of the economic demands and the general idea of putting money first, most people have ended up in professions that are not natural to them, as such no matter how much they try, they hardly find fulfilment and happiness. I have a friend who quit practicing law to start photography, he said the sad eyes in the courtroom creeps him out but being in happy places like weddings, anniversaries etc makes him fulfilled.
My advice: Know your calling, find a field that emphasizes it and remember it is never too late to cross over. Where you find fulfilment, sooner or later you will find wealth.
7. Ungodly foundation
Our lives are in steps or phases, each phase is an extension of the one before and all woven together to form what people see when they meet us. Each step is built on foundation of faith, believe and discipline. Good foundation will bring happiness while bad foundation will bring sadness. The steps include being born, making friends, gaining admission, learning a trade, getting a job, getting married, having kids, building a home etc.
My advice: Make God the foundation of your life, let Him order your steps and if you ask me, the shortest distance to God is Jesus Christ but you are entitled to your own route, however the most important thing is to make God your foundation if you want to be happy.